One of the first things that I notice when I talk to people about their relationship status- be they single or couples is that they spend a lot of time talking about the problem. I hear things like:
“If my partner would just take me out more, things would be better.” or “It is all my fault. If I could just stop…. things would be better.”
or with single people I hear:
“I want someone who is the opposite of my ex.” “There are no men who are available when I am.” “All men cheat. I just want a faithful guy”
What helps is when you create a positive intention for your relationship. This might sound new age but is has real value. Taking time to sit down and reflect on what we want to be helps us to have it. Think about it like making a list of things you want for your birthday. If all you add to the list are a few things that you don’t want, you friends and family will have no idea what to buy for you. You will receive random gifts that you may or may not want.
When you sit down and make a clear list of what you want to have, feel, be it makes a space for it to actually happen. I recommend you and your partner complete your list separately and share them with each other later.
When you are doing this activity it can be really easy to fall back into the problem. Make sure you stay focused on how you want to feel and what you are hoping to create moving forward.