The Pandemic Changed Romantic Relationships, Let’s undo the damage

The Pandemic Changed Romantic Relationships, Let’s undo the damage

If you find yourself saying things like “I am just not attracted to my partner right now,” “We feel more like roommates” or “The pandemic highlighted issues we were able to avoid before” you are not alone. There are few things more trying on a romantic relationship than being stuck in the same small apartment with your partner for a year. Don’t throw in the towel yet, a little Spring cleaning of your relationship can get you and your partner back on track and in-love again.

Thank Your Partner for Being Superhuman for You

This year, your partner became your everything: your best friend, lover, co-worker, co-teacher, co-chef, technology helper, apocalypse support, and trauma therapist through it all. And you did the same for them. You went above and beyond what is normally expected and healthy in a relationship. There is no way that you did all of these things perfectly. But you did your best and so did your partner. The first step in Spring cleaning your relationship is acknowledging this and taking time to thank your partner for all that they’ve been for you this past year, perfect, imperfect, or somewhere in between.

Create a New Intention for Your Couplehood

Now that you’ve taken the time to acknowledge what was. It is important to reset a new intention for your couplehood. You don’t have to be each other’s everything anymore. You can go back to holding a more balanced and fun role in each other’s lives that you get to decide on together. Maybe you want to go back to being lovers and friends and doggy co-parents and that’s it. You get to determine this based on your unique relationship. But it is important that you take the time to reset this intention so that you both are operating from the same expectations.

Focus on Where You’re Going

Spending so much time with your partner over the last year probably highlighted some of the relationship patterns that you would like to change. The rebirth of Spring energy is here to help you go for it. Begin by making a list of the things you would like to see change. Then, look over the list and determine what your role in continuing these patterns is. Make a commitment to yourself to change the way you act, interact, and respond to your partner. Remember, you can’t change anyone else, but you can change how you respond.

It can feel hard to focus on a positive future when things are constantly in flux and survival mode. Now that that is coming to an end, it is time to craft a vision for a more positive and thriving future for yourself and your loved one’s. The great thing about life being turned on its head is that you have a unique opportunity to create a future vision that works for you. Take a moment together to make a list of how you want to feel moving forward. When you start to feel bogged down, or need to make decisions, use this list to help guide you. 

 

You and your partner did a great job getting here right now. Take the time to honor your relationship by clearing away emotional debris and make space for a more hopeful and exciting future for life together.